Musing or Torture???

This is the picture I have as the screen saver on my computer at work....Is this musing or torture!!!???

I am beginning to think it is becoming more torturous than anything else, lol.   I am sitting here today longing to be in my studio.  I love my new job!  It is truly a blessing.  But it requires me to be away from home for  more hours than my last job. ( not able to work from home).  Then when I leave work I go to the gym...for boot camp fitness or high impact aerobics training.... no more  water aerobics everyday..(had to stop doing just water aerobics, it alone was no longer doing the job and "Alice" was winning the battle.)

 I am totally  exhausted by the time I get home in the evenings... prepare dinner ( which I cook the majority of on Sundays evenings...so not to have to cook full meals everyday) ... after doing  a few necessary chores... I am too tired to do anything else... other than get into bed and fall asleep reading craft books... ( I have to be to work much earlier for this job...luckily the drive to work is only 5 minutes!!! now!!! yay!!)

 My weekends are pretty full with getting my mom out and about...after five days in she's suffers serious cabin fever!!  lol...  church and related responsibilities ... visit my 95 year old friend who's now in a nursing home...other necessary errands, actually clean my house and do laundry and just  stuff!!!... most Saturdays  I  don't get in my studio until about 6pm ....I lose time...and before I know it  is  3am!!!  and yikes ! I have to be at  Church by 11am!! lol!!!  I usually get there, but only become fully  awake and alert about the time the sermon starts!!  lol.

Anyway,  boot camp fitness and high impact aerobics and training have really gotten me back in gear and my metabolism up and  going again..  My mom said to me the other day "Wow look at you gettin' a waistline!!!"   Whoo hoo!  "Alice" is melting!!!!   I am even wearing a dress today that I dare not have a few weeks ago!!!  

Okay, Back to my screen saver... it is making me long to "sequester" myself in my Pammagination!!!  Retirement seems sooo far away...to tell the truth ... I sometimes find myself really jealous/envious  of women who have husbands and/or  privileged lifestyles that allow them to retire much younger than 63!! I have worked so hard all my life ...for my family and others...it just doesn't seem fair. :(   I still have to work 3 more years!!!!  Life isn't fair by our/earthly terms but, I have been blessed and favored in so many  ways and on so many levels!   God's timing is perfect...and when my time comes to retire...it will be the perfect timing for me.  ( Pssss ... God....I just hope it is sooner than later...Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!)

 I have a  fantasy about ...remember the show the  Millionaire who gave ordinary people tons of money to follow their dreams? ... I fantasize about coming into a truck load of money and having the freedom to be the artist my life and circumstance never permitted or  allowed room for.   

Now that I am healthy and somewhat energetic...I have too much I can and want to do and too little time to do it!!!  it is the  proverbial conflict!!  lol.   Priorities..you say??  Well setting  priorities become much easier for those who have time and money.

I have been having fun with my Jack Johnson DVD !  I am working a several cool faces!

Anyway ...enough whining and moaning for today.  

Summer's coming!!!... I am getting a waistline and I have about 15 cute summer dresses in my closet just waiting for the sun and  "Alice's"  demise!!! 

So all and all life is pretty dang good!!!   and I know God has a plan to fully release me into my Pammagination!!!!   and I am trusting Him ....all the way!!!