Pammagination: is the place where I come alive!

Okay…I am back on the dollmaking track…. I have resided in Pammagination for the past few weeks. While there, I have all but finished my “ The Village it Takes “ collection. I have also just about finished “Dancer in Blue” she has really got it going on. … and I just need to decide from the 20 faces I have sculpted for “Ms Rosie” so I can finish her up…. She is going to be fabulous… but with all that said….I am still not ready to show them. Sometimes I think I got so caught up in the beading thing as a distraction from having to face that deep down inside I am still entertaining my fear of success about my dolls... or maybe of rejection…. it’s crazy …I am such a crazed “perfectionist”. Lol.

Ironically, I literally force my kid, the young people on my staff and any young folks under my influence to take risks, to embrace their gifts and to storm the world with them…with a “take no prisoners” attitude…to trust that God gave them the gifts to give the world. But yet, I still struggle on some level with my fears and doubts…but I am willing to admit it and I am still fighting it… I am putting my faith in action…even though…I am needing to “fake it until I make it”. Therefore, I am now working exclusively on my dolls and my book and I am putting the beading thing on hold. I have reduced my teaching schedule and only beading now as it relates to my dolls. I am my most joyous and authentic self when I am in Pammagination and making my dolls. I tell my story through my dolls…however now, I am only telling my story to myself. Lol. Also, I struggle with the decision to show my pieces one by one as I complete them or to wait and release my Pammagination creations to the world either through my book or an exhibition or both… anyway the struggle goes on…but Pammagination is alive and well …and I am back on track. I will continue to work on my dolls and pray for guidance and deliverance as I continue to fight this battle with my fears. One thing I am very confident about is that God hears my prayers and honors the desires of my heart…So this thing will happen…in spite of me and my crazy perfectionism. LOL!!