Okay…time for confession…I
am on a weight loss plateau and having a difficult time getting past it. Part of it is due to being sick for two weeks, which translated into eating more and no exercising.
Another part has to do with, I am
also becoming more social… which means that I am slipping in a few more calories
over the weekend. But, I am still eating very,
very healthily and never going over 2000 on the very rare day I allow myself to
splurge a little bit. Yet, due to my commute and work schedule I am not able
to exercise in the morning (six days) anymore… now just 3 evenings and Saturday mornings. .when my work schedule
allows it…I do Zumba some Sunday afternoons when I can.
But if the truth be told now that I have come
to that “place” where I feared most… getting so close to my goal and not making
it!!! I am 15 lbs away from meeting my original 100lb
weight loss goal and it feels like I am subconsciously beginning to sabotage myself from getting there. I am sure
there is some formal psychological analysis for what I am experiencing … but all I
know is, I am experiencing an illogical fear of succeeding. It is like the “fat demons” are trying to
draw me back down into the pit!! Even-though I am still very
committed and moving forward…I can feel it deep down in the recesses of my mind , those “demons” chipping away at my resolve and will power.
Maybe I have begun to depend
more on my own will power than God’s Power…Maybe God is weaning me off to teach
me how to operate under my own power.
Maybe I have simply repressed and not faced or resolved all that is in
my head that had me overeating and
gaining weight. Orrrrrr, maybe I am
so crazy stressed out from all the craziness that is going on at my job that
it is driving me to desire my old behavior of
addressing my stress by using food.
What ever it is…it has got to stop!!!!!! Because I am not going backwards! I am going continue to reap the blessings God
has for me!
So,
back to standing more firmly on God’s strength…and confronting whatever these “demons”
are that are trying so hard to break
though my resolve… I a’int havin’ it!!! I am about to do some research and prayer on whatever this is and develop whatever new strategies
,
connections, resources and
plans needed to get me to my initial 100 lb goal…plus another 30lbs and
most importantly to keep it all off.
This is a lifestyle change for me…it is
definitely time to make some more changes!!!
Maybe I have become to comfortable
in my daily routines and this is my wake up call that this journey is a very dynamic
and yet a very fragile process…requiring continuous focus,
attention , presence and
growth!!!
I am MOVING FORWARD!!!! ( and giving a dead ear to the fat
demons!!!!!)
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